The breakup of a relationship can be one of life’s most incredibly painful events. Even if you haven’t been together for years and years, the love and friendship you shared have provided the opportunity for you to grow together. Perhaps you’ve been dating for months or even years; however, something happened. It could have been a straying partner or perhaps your love interest just decided to move on to a different relationship, there’s no doubt, it can be devastating.

While you might at first think that you’ll never find a boyfriend who is as good as the one you lost, it’s important to keep these things in perspective. Of course, if you truly love your ex, then you might want to learn how to get your ex-boyfriend back. There is no reason to give up hope, even if he seems content to be on his own and over the relationship you once shared with him.

If you’re truly interested in getting your ex-boyfriend back, it’s important to not fall into any type of game playing. Maybe your friends are encouraging you to go out with someone in order to make your ex jealous. This often backfires. If you’re tempted to let your ex see you with another man, especially if you kiss this other guy in front of him, chances are your ex-boyfriend is simply going to walk away and consider the relationship over for good. Don’t play games, if you want to rekindle what you once had, you need to be up front and honest with him. Let him know you’re interested in getting back together, but don’t resort to games or tears.

If your ex is already back into dating other women, then you need to be careful that you aren’t doing anything to put these women down. It can be hard to remain positive, but you have the advantage. You have already had a relationship together, so there must have been something there. You’ll need to analyze what went wrong in your relationship and figure out what you can do in order to fix it. Relationships can have their ups and downs, and it’s not unusual for something that seems relatively small to cause a breakup. Make sure that you know what is at the root of the problem so that you can move forward by addressing the issue.

It’s entirely possible that your ex-boyfriend might not be interested in getting back together. However, don’t lose heart. What your ex is saying is that he doesn’t see any reason to go back to what wasn’t working before. Chances are that he’d be more than happy to pick up the relationship if the problems were resolved. If at all possible, arrange to have an innocent dinner or lunch with your ex. Let him know that it’s not a date, but that you just want to discuss what happened and if there is any chance in the two of you getting back together again. If he isn’t interested or he ignores your calls, you still have options.

If you can’t arrange a face to face meeting, the next best thing is to write him a letter. Make sure that you word your letter very carefully. Don’t ever accuse him of causing the problems or blame the issues solely on him. Simply acknowledge what happened between the two of you and explain how sorry you are that things didn’t work out. Let him know that you still think of him often and that he holds a very special place in your heart. You should also make it clear that you are open to reuniting and getting the relationship back to a better place.

You might worry that your ex is going to simply throw your letter away, but that’s highly unlikely. Curiosity will get to him and he will feel compelled to at least read your letter. Make sure it says everything you want it to say. Let him know that you still care and that you would like nothing more than for the two of you to be on friendly terms. Maybe it will help soften his heart and he will at least be willing to meet you for a cup of coffee. This can be the glimmer of hope that you’ve been looking for. It shows that he’s still interested. Now all you have to do is help him see that the problems the two of you had in the past can be resolved.

Rekindling a relationship can be challenging, especially when there are hurt feelings; however, it can be done. It’s going to take time and a commitment to stick with it through the long haul. It’s easy to get frustrated, but you have to consistently show patience. Eventually, your ex-boyfriend is going to see that the parts of your relationship that he first fell in love with are still there.